No Love Lost Read online

  I went home, glad to have a bit of rest for the first time in the day. I kicked off my shoes, stretched out in the comfy chair in the living room and gave myself a rare treat of reading fiction for fun. An hour later the phone at the apartment rang. When I answered, Hal launched into a tirade without even saying hello. “Why didn’t you tell me how invasive the questions were going to get, and how upsetting? I was nowhere near prepared for some of that stuff. I mean, they must automatically assume she’s dead.”

  “Whoa. First off, I had no idea how invasive the questions might get because so far I’ve been lucky enough with our son that I’ve never had to file a report. And second, why do you say the police assume that Nicole is dead?”

  “Because they had me sign these releases for dental records and health records and ghoulish things like that. Thank heavens, Ellie was here and could actually tell them who Nicole’s family doctor and dentist were. She nearly went hysterical on me when she thought about why they’d need the information, but she gave it to them.”

  “I don’t think you can assume anything from them asking for medical information. Knowing the sheriff’s department they probably always do that to save time.”

  “Save time on what?”

  “Coming back if they find a body that might match Nicole’s description, or even a person who’s alive but injured somehow, or has no identification, and then needing the records to identify them, or rule someone out. Wouldn’t you rather that every available deputy is looking for Nicole instead of messing with details and paperwork?”

  Hal sighed. “When you look at things that way, I’d agree. The deputy said that this would go in some kind of California computer system today, and something called the NCIS database that’s national by tomorrow.”

  “Good. Maybe by then you won’t need any of this because she’ll show up, having a perfectly reasonable excuse as to why she’s been gone.” It was difficult to convince myself of that, but I could try.

  “Right. I’m beginning to doubt that’s going to happen. I’ve talked to Monica twice in addition to talking to Cat while you were here. Neither of them has heard from her, or seen her since one yesterday morning.”

  “Monica was the other person at the party?”

  “Right. They all went back to her house after they went out, and she says Nicole was sober and heading for home the last time she saw her.”

  “That doesn’t help much. I guess it gave you more to tell the police, though.”

  “For what that was worth. It didn’t seem to impress the officer much. What he wanted most was the release of her medical records in case they needed them, and he wanted a current picture. At least I could give him that.”

  “I’m surprised that Ellie didn’t argue over that, as well.” She struck me as the type who might, given all the other squabbles they’d had.

  “Oh, she did. In the end the officer wanted the picture I provided because it was more casual, and Ellie’s was the posed shot they used for the newspapers for the engagement announcement.”

  Whatever newspapers that little item had gone in, it hadn’t been the local Star, and so I hadn’t been subjected to it. I decided not to say anything about that to Hal. He kept on talking anyway. “And I haven’t even told you the best part yet. While the officer—in a marked patrol car of course—was still taking all the information, my mom and dad pull up in their rental car and Mom jumps out and starts having a fit.”

  “That had to be distressing. But I’m a little confused about something. Did you say your mom and dad got out of the same car?”

  There was silence on the other end of the phone for long enough that I finally said, “Hal? Did we get cut off?”

  “No, I’m still here. Just wondering why I hadn’t told you the latest in that saga. My parents are back together.”

  “Wow.” I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Roger and Lillian in the same room, so the thought of them as a couple was mind-boggling. “When did this happen?”

  “Over the last few months. Mom was widowed in January, and Dad’s current wife went to a high school reunion in March and never came home.”

  “Did she die, too, or find an old flame?”

  “Found an old flame, sort of. I’m not going into details of what Dad told me, except that Rita is now living with her best friend from high school, Clara Jane.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah, to say the least. He went over to Mom’s one night to complain to somebody he didn’t have to explain everything to. It seems they both decided they were too old to go through all the courting stuff again and too lonely to stay single. So he moved back home.”

  “That had to come as a surprise.” Now maybe Hal having the dining room furniture made more sense. Knowing his mom, she probably wanted to get rid of some of the things she’d held on to that would have been in the house during her first marriage to Roger and make a fresh start. “So when did they make it official?”

  The silence on the phone didn’t last as long this time but still sounded pretty heavy. “Um, they haven’t,” Hal said eventually. “Dad’s divorce from Rita isn’t final yet. My parents are basically living in sin with each other.”

  Charming. Now I had even one more reason to avoid Hal’s house for the next few weeks. His mother couldn’t be in a good mood over this, and added to her driving up and seeing a police car in Hal’s driveway, she’d be at ballistic level.

  “Please, tell me you still want to handle this on your own,” I said weakly.

  “I certainly do. The only thing that would be worse than bringing you over here right now will be when Nicole walks in to explain where she has been.”

  It was a scene I didn’t want to picture. Either Nicole didn’t know Hal and his mother as well as I expected she would by now, or something terribly serious was still keeping her away. For Hal’s sake I hoped it was a mild case of nerves mixed with a bit of ignorance on Nicole’s part of the personalities involved. But given that she was a psychologist, and close to the Ph.D. level at that, this was beginning to sound like a disaster just waiting to play out.

  “I’ll keep praying for all of you, Hal. And I’m sorry it’s been such an awful day.” I really was sorry, too. Having things calm down with Hal meant we might be able to discuss Ben’s situation in a quiet, reasonable manner. At this rate the kid would be married before his dad and I could sit down together to try to talk him out of it.

  *

  The rest of the evening was very quiet at the apartment. Ben came home from Cai Li’s after dinner, still not talking much. With some urging he agreed that it would probably be a good idea for me to sit down with her parents and talk. “They’re not as freaked out as you and Dad, maybe, but they’re not real happy, either. It’s not like any of you can do anything about it, you know.”

  I tried to breathe deeply and keep my response as calm as possible. “That’s true, because you’re both over eighteen. Neither of you need anybody’s permission to get married. Still, that doesn’t make me comfortable with the idea yet, and I’ve got a lot of questions to raise. Before you make any decisions or set any dates, there are a lot of things you need to talk over between the two of you, and with your parents, as well.”

  Ben sighed. “I know. But we really love each other, Mom. And we want to be together.”

  “I understand that part. I remember being young and in love. I also remember being broke, quitting school to earn money while your father finished his degree, and feeling very surprised to be having a baby before I turned twenty-one.”

  Ben’s chin jutted out and his brow wrinkled. “Are you telling me you wish you hadn’t had me?”

  “No, I’d never say that. But your life would have been much easier if we’d waited a while. In all honesty, life would have been a lot easier for all three of us, and maybe you wouldn’t have had to deal with your parents splitting up when you were so young. That’s hard on any kid, and I wish we could have avoided it.”

  His posture relaxed a little. “It wasn’
t so bad, Mom, really. But Cai and I are different. And we’ll work through things before we get married so we won’t have problems and we won’t get divorced. Your grandkids will have two parents who love them and love each other.”

  Grandchildren? I’d always known that as young as I had Ben I’d probably be a young grandmother, but I could certainly wait until several years after my fortieth birthday for that. Some people my age were still having children. Grandchildren weren’t on my personal agenda yet.

  Thinking about what Ben had said kept me up a lot longer than usual. That turned out to be a good thing for a change, because over an hour after I normally would have gone to bed my cell phone rang with Hal on the other end. After this many false alarms I didn’t dare ask him if Nicole had come home. I just said hello and asked him what was up.

  “Bad news and I’m scared.” He sounded shaken and as though there were tears held back in a tight throat. That shocked me, because Hal had never been a guy who cried over anything. Even seventeen years ago when our daughter Emily died in the neonatal intensive care unit, he’d shed few tears.

  He sounded as if he wanted to shed some now. “Tell me about it.” A sinking sensation in my chest gave me a hint of what he might be telling me.

  He took a deep breath. “The police sent someone to the door about fifteen minutes ago. When they put Nicole’s information in the computer, it matched something from the other end of the county.”

  He said something instead of someone, which couldn’t be good. “Do they want you to come and look at a body?” It took a moment for me to say the word.

  “They want someone to go to the county hospital in Ventura and look, yes. Apparently they don’t usually do that anymore except with unidentified bodies, which is what they have.”

  “Oh, Hal. I’m so sorry.”

  “Hey, it could still be someone else. I’m holding out hope. All they would tell me was that they have the unidentified body of a young woman with dark hair. Ellie and I are arguing over who should go and when. I’d like to spare her the grief, especially since it might not be Nicole, but she’s adamant she’s going.”

  “Are you going tonight, or will you wait until morning?”

  He made a strangled sound that wasn’t words, just an expression of pain. “I don’t know. If it’s not Nicole it will be such a relief, after thinking that she might be dead. Even if she’s still missing, that would be better than having this be her. If it is Nicole nobody will sleep tonight anyway, I guess.” Talking it through made the decision for him. He took a deep breath. “Might as well do it.”

  I’d been silently praying for guidance while we talked but even I was surprised by the words that came out of my mouth next. “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “Would you? I can’t imagine going alone with Ellie and Paige tonight. Or driving up there by myself, either.”

  Now that I felt committed to this project I thought a moment. “Do you still have that big black SUV?”

  “Yeah, I do. It’s been a pain since gas went past two-fifty a gallon, but I’ve got it.”

  “Then let me drive over there in my little car and take all of you to Ventura. You’ll have to direct me to the hospital, but this would probably be better than any of the three of you driving.”

  He sighed. “You’re right. As usual.” There was a short, wry laugh on the other end of the phone. “Bet you never thought you’d hear me say that.”

  I didn’t. But then I would have said half an hour ago that I wouldn’t ever think of driving my ex-husband to the county morgue to possibly identify another woman, either. The older I get, the less I know for sure. If I get to be Dot Morgan’s age I’ll be totally clueless.

  *

  Halfway to Ventura I wanted to leave Nicole’s sister by the side of the road. She had provided an unending stream of complaints and dialogue in an adenoidal whine. “This is so stupid. You know it’s not going to be her. I mean, they said they found this girl naked washed up on the beach. That is so not anything Nicole would do.”

  “Paige, shut up,” her mother finally snapped. “The whole goal of this trip is to make sure that whoever the police found isn’t Nicole. And we all know it wouldn’t be like her to go skinny-dipping in the ocean in June. Nobody in their right mind would do that.”

  Ellie was right there. The Pacific in June reminded me of the one time I’d gone to Chicago in July and tried to wade in Lake Michigan—ice-cold even with bright sunshine playing off the surface. And I’d finally gotten used to the fact that early June wasn’t a very sunny time in Southern California anyway. We have this stuff called “June gloom” that means clouds and even fog and cool temperatures almost every morning that burns off by about ten. Dressing in layers is a summer art form around here. No one who had grown up near here would take a midnight dip in the ocean for any length of time without a wetsuit.

  Her mother’s sharp words made Paige subside for a while. She still grumbled and muttered behind me, but nothing was loud enough for me to really make out the words. For now that was a blessing. I had a few small things to be thankful for on this trip, the most important being that Ben had stayed home to sleep. Staying up as many hours as he had had finally caught up with him. Even his wish to be a support to his dad, and to me, was canceled out by exhaustion.

  Now that Paige had pulled this spoiled brat act for miles, I felt relieved that Ben wasn’t here to see it. He was also too young to face any of what we might see at the county morgue tonight. No matter that he argued he was a mature young man ready to get married, he was still my kid. Regardless of who was there at the morgue to be identified, this would be a rough night for everyone involved.

  Beside me in the front passenger seat, Hal gripped the armrest so tightly I was afraid it might come off in his hand. He hadn’t said anything through Paige’s constant commentary or Ellie’s outburst, either. I almost felt like reaching over and patting his hand. If the 101 wasn’t so dark I would have considered it. As is, we didn’t need to add running off the road to the disasters of the past day. Besides, I couldn’t imagine Ellie letting me touch her daughter’s fiancé without another tirade. She probably couldn’t fathom that after these many years of separation all I wanted to offer Hal was sympathy for a rough situation.

  The first time Hal spoke was to give me directions on what exit to take off the freeway. Even though he hadn’t been to the county before, he had good instructions from the sheriff’s deputy who had come to his house earlier.

  At this time of night we parked in a half-empty lot at the hospital and were directed through the emergency department, the only doors open, to the less-than-cheery facility that housed the county morgue. A woman with short red hair and a no-nonsense disposition introduced herself as a county death investigator on the medical examiner’s staff and proceeded to talk to Hal and Ellie while Paige and I hung back a little. We didn’t talk to each other.

  In the quiet I could hear the investigator telling Ellie and Hal that nothing had been found on the body except a pair of pink underwear and a thin gold chain necklace. “But what about her engagement ring? Or the pearl stud earrings her grandmother gave her? Surely if this was Nicole she would have been wearing those,” Ellie argued.

  “Maybe the police didn’t explain things to you very well,” the investigator said softly. “This body has apparently been in the water for a day or two. Being in the ocean for that long would have removed most jewelry. It will also make identification by sight rather difficult.”

  A shudder ran through me as I considered her words. Maybe this would convince Ellie to let Hal look for both of them to save her any possible grief. Paige had apparently heard everything, as well. She turned away and seemed to be searching for something. She walked briskly over to a desk across the room in the waiting area that probably served as an office in the daytime and, leaning over a wastebasket, she spit out a wad of gum.

  “Miss, if you’re going to be ill I can show you where the ladies’ room is just around the corner
.”

  Paige looked up at her with fright in her eyes and gulped convulsively. “Not if it’s closer to her or it or them or whatever. I’ll just stay here. I’ll be okay.” With her eyes wide with fear and her face as pale as her hair, she looked like the kid she was, not much older than Ben.

  “No, there’s a set of restrooms outside the door there, away from our facility.” The examiner pointed through the glass doors with the county medical examiner’s logo on them to the darkened hallway beyond.

  I felt a flash of pity for the kid, no matter how aggravating she’d been earlier. She was scared and worried, and had probably been filling the silence before just to keep from panicking.

  “Come on, I’ll go with you,” I said, motioning toward the hallway. She didn’t look like someone who would welcome me taking her hand. But she seemed grateful for the company and the reason to leave this room. I had to admit that going out to the restroom with Paige was far preferable to staying with Hal and her mother.

  I stood outside the restroom door, listening to her pacing inside. It took her fifteen minutes to calm down and want to go back to the morgue office. When we did, we were just in time to see Ellie and Hal come out into the lobby again, arguing as they came.

  SEVEN

  “That is not my daughter.” Ellie’s face was grim as she strode out ahead of everyone else. Her face looked as ashen as her hair and she trembled, but her voice was firm and sure.

  “Now Ellie, how can you say that? I don’t want to believe that it’s Nicole, either, but obviously that’s her. That’s her necklace, her underwear, and the hair is the right color and cut.” Hal couldn’t look at Ellie while he spoke. He looked back to the morgue employee, as if for validation.

  She put a hand lightly on Ellie’s shoulder only to have it shrugged off immediately. Still, Ellie stood still to listen to her. “I tried to warn you that being in the ocean for many hours can make a person almost unrecognizable, Mrs. Barnes.” Her voice was soft and apologetic. “If you still have doubts “